Dear Harlan, 

How is your #AbsIn2016 resolution going? I’ve been following you on Snapchat and wanted to see if you made it. I believe in you.

Snapchat Follower

Dear Snapchat Follower,

No, I have not seen my #AbsIn2016.  It’s now #AbsIn2017. Please don’t be disappointed. And don’t stop believing — I haven’t. I’m supposed to be an example. Let me explain what happened:  I started the year totally committed and focused on my goal. I posted videos about #AbsIn2016. I made a public statement declaring my mission. As a once very overweight teenager, I’ve always wanted to see my abs. I’ve never wanted a six-pack. I just wanted to get rid of enough fat to see the muscle I’ve been building over the past few years. I figured a public declaration would help me stay on track. I kicked off 2016 by going to boot-camp classes four times a week. I was a regular at the 6 a.m. class and weighed in with a trainer. I logged my calories every single day. I set workout reminder and daily affirmations on my phone. I did everything I’m supposed to do. Three months later and 10 pounds down, I started to fall off the path. Stress, business obligations and life got the best of me. I logged my meals intermittently, and then I stopped. The weight came back over the next three months. Old habits resurfaced. I took a break from #AbsIn2016 (I had six months, right?) In August, I read the book “The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business” by Charles Duhigg (actually, I listened to the audiobook). It was life-changing. It helped me realize that #AbsIn2016 was less about eating and more about forming new habits. This meant I had to identify and change old habits formed over 40 years. These habits were tied to emotional eating. Dieting wasn’t the secret — changing habits was my new goal. I wrote a daily journal, logged my calories daily (via MyFitnessPal) and worked out as much as possible. I was rocking it. I ate better, lost weight and felt great. Then I had another life change. We decided to move. Change is traumatic for me. Moving meant selling our old place, buying a new place, moving stuff and all the changes that come with transitioning my family. “The Power of Habit” mentioned that trauma and dramatic change can bring back old habits. It’s the same reasons addicts relapse. I ran off the tracks, again. I’m finally settling into a routine. I’ve continued to log my calories (since Aug. 19). I’ve found a new doctor, a new gym, and a new understanding of how my brain and body works. This brings me to my New Year’s resolution, #AbsIn2017. This year, I’m focusing on changing old habits. I’m going to log, journal and find professional help. I’m going to lean on people who have been there and done it. 2016 has been a breakthrough year. While I didn’t reach my goal, I learned how to change my life. No one should feel disappointed or let down. I’m proud and will continue to dream big in 2017. I hope you will, too. Dreaming big and succeeding isn’t about a destination. It’s about taking a step in the right direction and committing to a journey that will create dramatic change. What do you want to change? Let me know. Use the hashstag #AbsIn2017. I’m in your corner. Happy New Year!

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Harlan is author of “Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life (While Fully Clothed and Totally Sober)” (St. Martin’s Press). Write Harlan at harlan(at)helpmeharlan.com or visit online: www.helpmeharlan.com. All letters submitted become property of the author. Send paper to Help Me, Harlan!, 3501 N. Southport Ave., Suite 226, Chicago, IL 60657.

© Harlan Cohen 2016

Distributed by King Features Syndicate Inc.