Clara Nycz, 90, looks over one of the many cards she regularly receives from children. Nycz moved into Symphony at the Tillers nursing home in Oswego in July and the cards and notes have made a real difference in her mood, according to her family. (Photo by Erika Wurst/For Chronicle Media)

Connections made in intergenerational visits make a difference

When 90-year-old Clara Nycz moved into Symphony at the Tillers nursing home in Oswego last month, she was depressed, and rightfully so, said her granddaughter Mary Sorensen.

Having recently been diagnosed with kidney failure, the once independent Nycz was scared Sorensen said.

Explaining her grandmother’s reaction to a terminal diagnosis of Nephrotic Syndrome, Sorensen said. “She said that she wished her mind would fail her so she wasn’t aware of what was going on.”

These days, Nycz has made a stark 180 turn for the better. Today, there’s a smile on her face daily, and it’s thanks to the kindness of strangers and the hearts of children.

“This has given her something to look forward to, something to fill long days and fill her with warmth,” Sorensen said.

“This” refers to the dozens and dozens of cards, flowers, well wishes and visits Nycz has received from complete strangers since Sorensen put out a plea on Facebook to help brighten her grandmother’s days.

Sorensen asked friends and family with young children to send Nycz their well wishes after Nycz mentioned that her roommate at Tillers received mail, but she didn’t. The message touched the hearts of many and has spread like wildfire. Now, new friends are being made.

“Days are often long in nursing homes,” Sorensen said. While she and her family visit often, it’s the times that they aren’t around her that they worry about Nycz.

“We thought the cards would brighten her day and cheer her up,” Sorensen said. And, they certainly have.

Strangers are brining their children to visit Nycz, sometimes staying as long as an hour to chat. Children come to sing, drop off notes, and keep the grandmother of four company.

“This has been a beautiful reminder of how much good is left in this world, and what can be accomplished when a community comes together for a common cause,” Sorensen said.

Nycz is loving the distraction, and looks at each card individually before hanging them on her wall.

“I think children bring so much joy to seniors. Kids have a way of lighting up the room with their innocence an laughter. In a nursing home setting where things can get quiet and lonely, a toddler strolling the halls waving hello and blowing kisses could bring a smile in even the most difficult of times,” Sorensen said.

Local experts working with seniors across the Fox Valley and Naperville area agree.

Cindy Worsley, executive director of Fox Valley Older Adult Services (FVOAS) in Sandwich, reiterated the importance of intergenerational interaction.

The wall in Clara Nycz’s room at Symphony at the Tillers nursing home in Oswego is decorated with the many cards and drawings she receives from local youth. (Photo by Erika Wurst/For Chronicle Media)

Children and young adult volunteers are not uncommon to see at FVOAS, where they help serve lunch, interact with their elders, garden and sing.

“Seniors don’t get a lot of company,” Worsley said. “I think that the kids really liven up the site.”

She also noted that the interactions can be just as beneficial for the kids as it is the adults.

Nursing homes and senior centers are filled with teachers and police officer and scientists. They are full of war veterans and historians; grandparent and heroes.

“Kids a lot of times get to see the seniors happy and having a good time. They learn that a senior isn’t always someone who is sick, can’t walk or understand what they’re saying,” Worsley said.

Vada Marshall, a 14-year-old Oswego High School Freshman, said volunteering at Tillers helped give her a new perspective on aging.

She recalled seeing seniors sing on the top of their lungs, get goofy and strike up eye-opening conversations.

“I really liked volunteering,” Marshall said of her time helping dress seniors, make lunch, and play games. “You get to really see how happy they are. It makes them feel good and it make me feel good, too. Company keeps you young.”

Which is exactly why Naperville Senior Center owner and Business Director Mike Cooper encourages all young people to come and volunteer.

“It’s good for both the seniors and the children,” Cooper stressed. “The older folks get to see the youth, and the youth learn from their elder’s great stories.”

He sees the way the mood lifts at the center when daycares come to visit or churches come to serve lunch. And sometimes, a teenage volunteer is requested to help set up the center’s Nintendo Wii for an afternoon of virtual bowling.

At FVOAS, Worsley all but revels in the memories she recalls of her favorite children and senior interactions together. They usually happen around Christmas time when the children come to sing.

“It’s fun to watch the kids, but then you turn around and look at the seniors and they all have tears in their eyes. It’s so sweet to see them watching the kids,” she said.

And, it’s so sweet for Mary Sorensen to see what’s happening inside her grandmother’s room at Tillers, where kids are coming together in droves to lighten the 90-year-old’s day.

During their visits, they’re likely learning about Nycz’s love of Detroit sports and polka music, or jotting down one of her famous cookie recipes.

“Seniors have lived so much and have so many incredible stories to tell,” Sorensen said. “They built the community we live in now and any chance we can get to hear their stories and learn from their experiences is an opportunity that should be taken.”

— Lives of old and young brightened by friendships —