HELP ME, HARLAN! Best friend can’t choose wedding to attend

Harlan Cohen

Dear Harlan,

One of my oldest friends is getting remarried in the spring. This is her second marriage to a man I’ve met once. She lives in my hometown. We have remained close over the years. The problem is that I have a newer friend who also is getting married. We’ve worked together for the past five years. I helped her meet her fiance, and we regularly go out. She and I haven’t known each other as long, but we have become very close. I can see us being lifelong friends. I only learned recently that both weddings are on the same day. When I’ve asked other friends for advice, they’ve given me mixed messages. I don’t know how to present this to my friend at home. I stood in her first wedding, and I know she looks at me as almost a sister to her. I’m so upset. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Please help.

Wedding Woes

Dear Wedding Woes,

One your oldest friends is getting married. That’s it. Period. Your oldest friends are the dearest, most loyal and most important people in your life. They are the pillars that withstand the test of time. They are there for all life’s moments. Don’t let yourself get caught up in all the wedding excitement at work. You need to be there standing by your oldest friend’s side. I know the idea of not being part of the wedding whirlwind at work is disappointing, but don’t make a mistake. I know you want to be there. And yes, it will be so much fun. But do what’s right. If anything, your newer friend will appreciate that you are a loyal and committed friend for life. When you discuss this with your newer friend, make sure you tell her that you’ll be there for showers, parties and anything else she needs — you just won’t be there for the main event. Hopefully, she will understand.


Dear Harlan,

What’s the rule with Facebook after a breakup? I dated a girl for six months. I initiated the breakup, but I thought we ended on a good note. I asked if we could still be friends, and she agreed. Now I found out that she unfriended me and deleted me from her life. She wiped out all our pictures. It’s like we never met. I tried to talk to her about this, but she doesn’t return my calls or texts. I have no idea what happened. Why would she do this?


Dear Unfriended,

Yes, it hurts to be rejected — your ex knows the feeling too well. Clearly, she doesn’t want to be your friend right now. That’s her right as an ex. And she doesn’t owe you an explanation. She can unfriend and ignore you if that’s what she needs to do. Again, that’s part of being the ex. I wouldn’t reach out to her. Clearly, she wants some space. Eliminating you from her social

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