It was the middle of a beautiful Saturday morning in June, and young Marsha Greenfield was gathering wild flowers that grew in the fence row on the north forty. The sky was so blue it made her heart ache with joy. The flowers were for her husband, Cletes, who had been the star quarterback on the Heliotrope University football team. Marsha and Cletes had been married exactly one year ago on this very day at the First Malthusian Church of the Recently Redeemed, with Reverend Cyril Balderdash presiding.
Cletes Greenfield loved to have wild flowers on the table. Marsha herself did not give a hoot for the flowers, but she wanted to please Cletes. As Marsha picked the flowers, she began to think about Cletes. He was handsome, kind, and intelligent; he had a physical build that was just this side of Chuck Norris. But Cletes’ strength was accompanied by an amazing masculine gentleness.
Marsha began to think more and more about Cletes. She was beginning to lose interest in wild flowers. She thought of his rich baritone voice, his twinkling eyes, and his shy smile. She thought of his gentle touch and the sweet words he would whisper in her ear. Marsha lost all interest in wild flowers; she jumped in the truck to drive back to the house.

Marsha drove so fast that she almost ran over Toro, the prize bull. Toro was the highest priced bull in Weeder’s County, a blue ribbon champion at the Weeder’s County Fair. Marsha pulled to a skidding stop in front of the barn; she had raised a large cloud of dust. Marsha leaped out of the truck, sailed her straw hat high in the air, and raced for the house. She was not thinking of lunch.
When Marsha reached the house, she noticed a note taped to the door. The note was from Cletes. He told her to meet him in town and they would attend the John Wayne Film Festival at the Bijou, dine at Mom’s Family Restaurant, and then go dancing to celebrate their anniversary.

Marsha bathed quickly with Dial, brushed her teeth with Pearly Glitter, used Naughty Nymph Underarm Deodorant, and applied a liberal dose of Snake in the Garden perfume; she was taking no chance of offending Cletes with bad breath or body odor
Marsha drove very fast to Weeder’s Clump, where she met Cletes at the Bijou. There they watched John Wayne in “Rio Rauncho.” As usual, Cletes was solicitous of Marsha. He bought her a large tub of popcorn and a jumbo Slurpy.
Cletes laughed when John Wayne asked Jane Fonda if she was the new school marm. He laughed even more when Walter Brennan complained, “It’s so dry around hyear a man hassta prime hisself to spit.” Cletes had seen this film several times, and he always found those lines amusing.

Cletes held Marsha’s hand throughout the movie. At one time she squeezed extra hard, and Cletes asked if she wanted him to get her some Walnettos.

By the end of the movie, John Wayne had lost his horse, his dog, his loyal sidekick Walter Brennan, the deputy marshal, the newspaper editor, and all his neighbors in a twenty-mile radius; they had all died trying to protect him from Ernest Borgnine and his gang of thugs. But John Wayne had saved his ranch; and, even better, Jane Fonda was beginning to come around.

Cletes and Marsha dined at Mom’s. Cletes had oyster stew and cheese pudding. Marsha had beans and franks. Then they went dancing. Marsha thought the dance would never end, but finally at midnight Cletes said the magic words, “Let’s go home.”

Cletes drove so fast that Marsha could not keep up with him. When she arrived at home, she was greeted at the door by Growler, the family dog. Growler needed to go outside and take care of business, but he would not go out at night by himself. He was afraid of the dark. Ordinarily, Cletes would take Growler out, but apparently Cletes had ignored Growler and gone upstairs to bed.

For some reason Growler became interested in trivia in the yard. Marsha urged him to do his business, but Growler was unable to find the right spot. Finally, after what seemed like hours Growler was done.

Marsha raced upstairs. She had to get Cletes before he fell into a deep sleep or he would be gone until morning. She knelt by the side of the bed and whispered sweet nothings in Cletes’ ear. No response. Marsha then shook his arm. Cletes opened one eye. Then he opened the other eye. He glanced sleepily at Marsha and said, “John Wayne says the night is for sleeping and resting. Why don’t we go to sleep, Marsha?”

Dr. Logsdon is the much-loved English professor who has inspired students at Western Illinois University and Eureka College for many years. He lives in Eureka with his wife, Mary, and writes a weekly story for the Woodford County Chronicle.